Why I am Not Married.

It is a question asked by a lot of people. I am 27 (of age) and typically in the bracket of marrying. A lot of the people I know and grew up with are happily married or engaged. They have kids, a happily ever fairy tale partner and a white picket fence to secure everything.

It never occurred to me that at this age I would still be living at home eating pancakes and cookies. So coming back to the topic, why am I not married?

Various reasons and excuses will come into mind so I will try to define everything one by one for the benefit of my sister (Joi) who’s trying to ask me this question earlier.

1. Marriage is not a priority– I know this may sound as a lame excuse but sorting out my life, my career and what I wanted to do comes into mind. I believe I can have the same freedom in marriage but I have no confidence that I will commit myself with the same focus as I have today. Being single is liberating. It gives me enormous time to make mistakes and become more radical.

2. My financial stability – I am not confident for a series of responsibility like paying bills, rent and buying diapers. As I have just said, my career is yet to come. I am in a moment of transition wherein I have no means to support another person. As a woman, with a Filipino cultural background, I have been told that the man is the one who buys the bread and butter. I have believed it at some point but it doesn’t mean I will sit down and not do anything to save and become useful. I am most happy to share the burden and compromise. At this point of time, I may not be very cooperative in compromising.

3. God says I am not ready. – This is simple, direct and true. I am single because God designed my timeline in such a way that I should grow in Him first before anything else. I guess people might call this maturity. The character to love and become unselfish for another person. Singleness doesn’t opt me out on becoming a great person but is preparing me to be considerate and kind.

4. Marriage is commitment. – I do not take marriage lightly. In our microwave generation, everything seems to be instant with the snap of our fingers. Our marriages nowadays are picture perfect Polaroid shots. It looks good, it feels right but the responsibility behind it is often overlooked.
Marriage has become an expectation or an escape. Either way, I am not doing it to please other people. The older generations expects a woman of my stature and age to be married and have kids but I beg to differ. Age will never be a determining factor in commitment.
In the same way, in my twisted opinion, having a baby is an excuse for marriage. I am not condemning people who did get married because of the kid but what I’m trying to say is that it shouldn’t be the reason. Divorce rate, legally or not are rampant in our society. Marriage is not the answer to life’s problems.
I am not saying that I am trying to dodge marriage because of my fear of commitment but it’s the other way around. I have a high esteem to commitment and loyalty therefore unless I see myself being drawn to such I will choose to abstain to anything that might feel good but not right.

There might be another thousand reasons why I (or other people my age) am not married. Whatever our reasons are I would like to point out that marriage doesn’t make you a complete person. Intimate connection to another person is essential to grow up and become mature but it doesn’t solely rely on one person inside the sanctity of marriage.

I would also like to point out that I am contented and happy the way things are right now. I would definitely not know how it feels to sleep at night with my beloved but being single doesn’t make me less happy than the rest of the world. I am responsible for my own level of happiness. If you are miserable being single, most likely you will be miserable married. Our response to life determines our state of mind.

Lastly, I am not married because I choose not be married. There is a time and place of everything under the sun. Getting married is easy such as signing a piece of paper and moving in with someone. But I choose not to because I believe I can do better than jump into the water and not know the consequences of my actions. I can blindly date and meet with people but I choose not to. As much as I believe that marriage is a decision, love in the same way, is a decision. At the moment my decision is to love God (alright maybe a bit of Micky here) and myself.


If marriage is a season for celebration, isn’t singleness the preparatory jamboree? ^_^

You Must be Faithful

Saturday, 12 March 2011

'...He was faithful to God, who appointed him...'Hebrews 3:2 NLT

Faithfulness is more than just a nice concept; you must be faithful to something or someone. Actually, it's in making and keeping commitments to others that we demonstrate our faithfulness to God. '... And whatsoever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord...' (Colossians 3:17 NKJV). That means to be seen by Him, to bring glory to Him, and to be rewarded by Him.

If you don't love those around you, you don't really love God. Jesus put it this way: '...In as much as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me' (Matthew 25:40 NKJV). The Greek word for faithful means 'to be trustworthy and reliable'. When you give your word, can you be trusted to keep it? Many of us just aren't reliable. We can't be counted on to do what we say. It doesn't matter how gifted you are, if you're not trustworthy God cannot use you. And God will test you! How? By assigning you to do something for a period of time that you don't want to do, something that's not fun or exciting, something that may require you to submit to someone else's authority, something you chafe under. Then He will say to you, 'Just be faithful.' And faithfulness is not merely showing up day after day - it's showing up with a good attitude.

God rewards that kind of faithfulness. Jesus said, '...If you have not been trustworthy with someone else's property, who will give you property of your own?' (Luke 16:12 NIV). Simply stated, if you want to be successful, you must be faithful.


**** When I saw this devotion there is one thing in my mind "It could have been better if a certain someone reads this! It will show him what faithfulness is all about!"

BUT when I finished reading I recognized my lack of faithfulness. God's word is not ONLY for the people I am thinking about ONLY because they were unfaithful to me before. It is also an issue about me and my selfishness.

I know I have been unfaithful to God whenever I quit the responsibilities entrusted to me. I am no longer a person who can be trusted because of my past. But God gave me a second chance, His redeeming love made me realize where I got it wrong and honor whatever commitments I have today. What I have done to someone or to some commitments I have to do it for the Lord. I have to be trustworthy on what I have and what is entrusted to me. I have to keep my word and be faithful to everything that I say. I shouldn't commit into something I couldn't stand up for.

Faithfulness is about God and how well I could keep up with the words I say to Him and obeying him. A word not said is better than broken promises. I am praying to be faithful.

Your work matters to God (3)

Friday, 3 September 2010

\'Work...as...for the Lord...\' Colossians 3:23 NLT

Dr Adrian Rogers said, 'God takes ordinary people and gives them power to do extraordinary things. Whether you put hub caps on tyres... key in data... dig ditches or wash dishes, \"Work...as...for the Lord...\" (Colossians 3:23 NLT) Jesus' home was the cottage of a working man. Mending ploughs or mending souls, Jesus was doing God's work because people need houses and furniture. Knowing you're serving the Lord puts dignity in running a machine, greasing cars, carrying mail, painting houses, or cutting grass. Tell God, \"I'm doing this for you and I'll do it with all my might\"... That kind of attitude puts a spring in your step... You're a priest of God... in full-time service, and if that doesn't ring your bell - your clapper's broken!' As Leigh Priebe Kearney says, 'No job's perfect... there'll always be things you aren't thrilled about. See the big picture: find out where the company's heading and how you fit in. Reach out: ask what's important to your co-workers and how you can help them.' You can have almost anything you want, if you help enough other people get what they want. Remember the three Cs: 1) commitment. Workers who get ahead share a sense of commitment: they're fully engaged in their work 2) control. They're proactive, not passive 3) challenge. They see stressful situations as opportunities for growth. Don't wait for your ship to come in - swim out to meet it! Management won't suddenly recognise your potential, pluck you from obscurity and rocket you to the top. Draft a plan, then talk to your boss. A game plan shows you're open to professional growth. Keep learning: talk to people from other departments, take classes, and tackle projects outside your comfort zone.


**** I want to do better after reading this devotion It's as if I am not doing very well in my work. I hope I could be better. I need commitment, control and challenge. I need to grow and i want to do it. I need to be positive about it too..

If I do my work according to what God wants and intends me to I can please Him more than I can imagine..

Your work matters to God (2)

Thursday, 2 September 2010

'God cares about honesty in the workplace...' Proverbs 16:11 TM

The Human Resources Director was taken aback when he heard what the job applicant asked to be paid. 'You certainly expect to be compensated well for a beginner.' The applicant replied, 'Well sure, work is a lot harder when you don't know what you're doing.' A cute story, but 'God cares about honesty in the workplace; your business is His business.' (Proverbs 16:11 TM) You should give an honest day's work for an honest day's wages. Eric Harvey says, 'Think about somebody you know who's of good character, and reflect on the characteristics that make them a role model... Chances are that high on the list is commitment - an unwavering dedication to being a good family member and friend - to doing their best on and off the job... to doing what's right, noble and decent. Committed people... have their heads and hearts in the right place. They keep their priorities straight... stay focused on what's important... What they believe drives how they behave, and how they behave determines their character... their reputation... and the legacy they leave.' Abraham Lincoln observed, 'Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality. It's the words that speak boldly of your intentions, and the actions which speak louder than the words. It's making time when there is none... it's coming through time after time, year after year. Commitment is the stuff character's made of... the power to change the face of things... the daily triumph of integrity over scepticism.' An admirer approached the world-renowned pianist Van Cliburn after one of his concerts and said, 'I'd give my life to be able to play like you.' Smiling, Cliburn replied, 'I did!'


*** The devotion today is about commitment and how work with passion and dedication pleases God. It is good to be honest in the workplace but the best etiquette we can ever have is commitment. It's what drives us to do better, strive greater and determine our character. Committed people have straight priorities.

I know I haven't given my commitment and best in anything yet and it doesn't make me a good steward of my talents. I feel guilty and ashamed of myself being like this. I can feel that I am bad in all sort of ways and I want to make it right but I don't know where to start. I am afraid but I want to pass this hurdle and continue on with my life. I want my attitude to be changed that in whatever work I have I can always glorify God. Am I pleasing God? In my judgement I know I am far from perfect but I believe in God's grace and direction.

I want to have commitment, passion and love for my work.

I want to love my work.

I want to be worthy of the job and talent God has given me.

I don't want to waste my energy in things that doesn't please God. In a way being a complainer is one thing I should get rid off. I know I don't like my job but by giving it to God it makes all the difference. Being committed (stop being lazy and working as if working for the Lord) makes the work a lot more easier and worth the effort.